Can Scary Stories Be Beneficial for Kids?
“Fairy tales, then, are not responsible for producing in children fear, or any of the shapes of fear; fairy tales do not give the child the idea of the evil or the ugly; that is in the child already, because it is in the world already. Fairy tales do not give the child his first idea of bogey. What fairy tales give the child is his first clear idea of the possible defeat of bogey. The baby has known the dragon intimately ever since he had an imagination. What the fairy tale provides for him is a St. George to kill the dragon.”
As I sit down to write this, the air outside is getting cooler, the leaves are turning brilliant shades of yellow and red, and Halloween is just around the corner. It’s that time of year when our homes fill with costumes, candy, and decorations. And as parents, grandparents, and caregivers, we might start to wonder: should we tell our little ones Halloween stories? Will it be too much for them? After all, some kids are more sensitive to the spooky and suspenseful than others. Knowing what our children can handle is important, but does that mean we should avoid telling scary tales altogether? Not necessarily! There’s actually a lot of value in sharing these stories, and they can help our children grow and thrive.
Spooky and suspenseful tales allow children to face their fears in a safe and loving environment. Some psychologists say that the chilling effect of fairy tales is vital to children so that they can work out their own fears alongside a trusted adult. (1) When we tell a scary story, we’re creating a safe space for our kids to experience fear in a controlled way. They know we’re right there with them, which makes all the difference.
Psychologist Erica Helm Meade, says, “The tale does not create the fear, the tale provides a safe avenue through which the fear can be discussed.” Therefore, storytelling is a great tool for us to prompt discussions about the things that may frighten our children. When we recognize that our child has latched onto a fear, we are given a chance to help that child learn how to recognize what is causing them to be afraid and to grow by facing it. (2)
Below we cover three beneficial lessons you can help to teach your kids or grandkids by using age-appropriate levels of scariness in your family story time.
Precaution
Many of the scariest tales out there have been told for generations as cautionary stories. (3) Think about classics like Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel and Gretel. They were created to warn kids about talking to strangers or wandering off alone. They deliver valuable lessons in a way that’s memorable and impactful without being too overwhelming.
By hearing these stories, our kids learn that dangers exist in the world and it is important to be cautious. We don’t want to make them fearful, but we do want to prepare them to navigate safely as they become increasingly independent. With the story characters as their proxy, they see the importance of trusting their instincts and to be careful in unfamiliar situations.
2. Patience and Perseverance
Just like in scary stories, life has its ups and downs and we all face good times and bad. Stories such as The Wolf and the Seven Little Kids and The Baba Yaga show that things can unexpectedly go wrong—like when the villain comes knocking—but there’s always a chance for things to improve. Kids, especially young ones, are still learning how to handle life’s challenges. When things go wrong, it can feel like the whole world is falling apart. But through stories, they can learn that many hardships are temporary. And sometimes with patience and resilience, the good times will return, just like they do for their favorite characters.
In his book The Wisdom of Fairy Tales, Ruldolf Meyer states, “The way in which true fairy tales wisely deal with light and darkness creates in the listener a healthy sense of reality. Anyone who is deeply immersed in the victory of the good powers, as is always represented and celebrated at the end of a fairy tale, experiences evil as a necessity in the world. It is the power through which the good can first awaken to its own being. The human kingdom can shine out only against a black ground of darkness.” (4) Often, with enough endurance, good triumphs over evil and, just as it does in the stories, it shines out better than before because of the dark and scary things.
Scary stories can also demonstrate that no matter how frightening a situation may seem, it’s important to keep trying to overcome the darkness, even if it requires repeated attempts. Neil Gaiman, one of today’s most beloved authors, once said, “In order for stories to work — for kids and for adults — they should scare. And you should triumph. There’s no point in triumphing over evil if the evil isn’t scary.” (5) Our kids already have an idea that the world isn’t perfect. Through story, we teach them to always retain a sense of hope and to use that hope to inspire perseverance. We give them examples of characters persevering through the darkest moments, and finding the courage to triumph because they held on to their hope.
3. Perspective
Scary stories can help kids change how they look at fear. In my own parenting, I have used Grimm's fairytale The Boy Who Set Out To Find What Fear Was to help my son learn how to shift his perspective. In the story, the protagonist goes out on a mission to understand what it means to be scared, but instead of freaking out at all the spooky things he encounters, he responds as if those spooky things are normal, everyday things. He doesn’t see the fear the way most people would, and that’s the key. His innocence and curiosity turn creepy situations into funny ones, and that shift in perspective kept him from being afraid when others shuddered in fear. My son told me he was a bit nervous to listen to the story at first, but by the end, he was laughing at the protagonist and guessing what crazy thing the protagonist would do next. It’s like when our kids laugh after they realize the "monster" in the closet is just a pile of clothes, or laugh after hearing a spooky story ending in a jump scare—they're taking the power away from fear. By showing our little ones that they can look at scary things with humor and change their perspective, we can help them feel braver and more confident.
The Lasting Power of Storytelling
At the end of the day, storytelling is more than just entertainment. It’s a powerful way to connect with our kids and help them navigate their emotions and life. When we share stories—whether they’re spooky or sweet—we’re creating memories, fostering creativity, and building a bond through shared experiences. By telling these stories, we’re giving our children tools to understand the world, process their emotions, and find hope even in difficult times.
So, next time you’re hesitant about telling a spooky story, consider the lasting positive impact it could have. These tales do more than give our kids a thrill; they can help them grow, learn, and build the courage to face whatever comes their way. In a world that sometimes feels overwhelming, that’s a gift they’ll carry with them for years to come.
Sources: 1.) Chesterton, G K. Tremendous Trifles. Beaconsfield, Darwen Finlayson, 1968.
2.) Silke Rose West, et al. How to Tell Stories to Children. Boston, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2021.
3.) Warner, Marina. Once upon a Time: A Short History of Fairy Tale. Oxford, United Kingdom, Oxford University Press, 2014.
4.) Meyer, Rudolf. The Wisdom of Fairy Tales. Edinburgh, Floris, 1997.
5.) Popova, Maria. “Neil Gaiman on Why Scary Stories Appeal to Us, the Art of Fear in Children’s Books, and the Most Terrifying Ghosts Haunting Society.” The Marginalian, 20 Mar. 2014, www.themarginalian.org/2014/03/20/neil-gaiman-ghost-stories/?utm_source=August+House+Blog&utm_campaign=Embrace+the+Fear:+How+Kids+Benefit+from+Scary+Stories. Accessed 9 Oct. 2024.
6.) Margaret Read Macdonald. The Storyteller’s Start-up Book: Finding, Learning, Performing, and Using Folktales Including Twelve Tellable Tales. Little Rock, Ark., August House, 1993.
